You want to take me on?
Spinelli: “Sporadic constrictions of the small surface arteries will cause lividity and dark rings under the eyes.” I have one of the telltale symptoms. I have — I have dark rings under my eyes.
Claudia: Spinelli, we didn’t sleep last night. It’s normal.
Spinelli: Why did we not sleep last night? Why are we under a 24-hour quarantine? Because I exposed us to a highly contagious form of Asian Ague.
Claudia: This is not your fault.
Spinelli: Gosh, and now all we can do is sit around and wait for the symptoms to manifest themselves. Dangerous and sudden spike in temperature? Paroxysms of chills and fevers leading to a drenching sweat and possible –
Jason: Just calm down, Spinelli.
Claudia: Leave him alone.
Jason: He’s making himself sick.
Spinelli: I sincerely hope I am not susceptible. Oh.
Claudia: What is it?
Spinelli: This disease that we’ve all been exposed to has a most pernicious and unwelcome side effect.
Claudia: What other side effects does this weird contagious disease have?
Jason: Please don’t encourage him.
Spinelli: No, Vixenella has a right to know what I have wrought, for it is my fault for exposing her and you and I to this dread illness, for foolishly trying to emulate the chairman of suave, affecting an Aussie accent, imbibing distilled spirits so that Maxie would see me more than a hopelessly inept dweeb, that i might storm her barricade, so to speak.
Claudia: Proving my point yet again that love kills, or in the very least can make you really sick.
Jason: Nobody’s getting sick.
Spinelli: Yet.
Claudia: Don’t you want to know what strange side effects we’re in for? Sprouting horns? Sudden craving for human flesh?
Spinelli: Delirium.
Claudia: That’s it?
Spinelli: Deep and prolonged delirium, during which the afflicted may ramble and divulge private thoughts and deeply guarded secrets.
Claudia: This could make for a very interesting experience. Imagine if the man of few words got delirious and suddenly started spilling his deep, dark secrets.
Jason: Or if you did.
[Phone ringing]
Claudia: Plague central.
Johnny: Ok, is this some kind of joke? Are you working some angle or what?
Claudia: No, everything I left you on the machine is completely true. I’m in quarantine for 24 hours. I was exposed to some rare form of Asian Jungle Fever.
Johnny: Are you ok?
Claudia: Yes, I feel fine. I don’t have any symptoms yet. The worst part about it is the people I’m stuck with. Sorry, make that the person I’m stuck with. But you know me. I’ll find some way to make the best of it.
Claudia: Come on, one game. Just something to break up the monotony. It’s not like you can catch anything from me you don’t already have. What do you say, Mr. Spinelli?
Spinelli: Me?
Claudia: Come on.
Spinelli: Um, I lack Stone Cold’s prowess. I won’t be much of a challenge to Vixenella.
Claudia: Good, that tells me you’re a real man, and you’re secure in your masculinity. You know those guys that you try to emulate all the time? They should really be trying to be a little bit more like you. All right, ready? You break. Over there. Yeah.
Spinelli: Ok. Hmm, I just got to –
Claudia: Ok.
Spinelli: What? No, I think — I think –
Claudia: Here, here, let me show you. Ok, ready?
Spinelli: Yeah.
Claudia: You want to put it like that. Flip this over here a little bit more.
Spinelli: Ok.
Claudia: Then you want to relax, relax.
Spinelli: Ok.
Claudia: But firm, firm here.
Spinelli: Firm? Ok.
Claudia: Do you feel that?
Spinelli: Yeah, I feel it.
Claudia: Feel that.
Spinelli: I feel it.
Claudia: That’s good.
Spinelli: Ok.
[Laughs]
Claudia: You ready?
Spinelli: This is kind of funny. Ah! Woo.
Claudia: Wow! Wow, sweet jesus!
Spinelli: How did I do that?
Claudia: Good job, Spinelli. Ok, get another one. Come on.
Spinelli: Ok, ok.
Claudia: You’re stripes. Hit another one.
Spinelli: Well, um.
Claudia: Here, let me.
Spinelli: Ok, ok.
Claudia: Ready? Bend down a little bit more.
Spinelli: Ok. This is fun.
[Laughs] What? Hey.
Jason: Just leave him alone.
Claudia: You want to take me on?
Jason: Forget it.
Claudia: What’s the matter? Are you afraid you’ll get shown up by a woman?
Jason: The less I deal with you, the better.
Claudia: Ok, Jackal? It’s just you and me.
Jason: Spinelli, don’t.
Claudia: Come on, we’re under quarantine. I’m going stir crazy. What tragedy is going to befall us if we play a little pool?
Spinelli: While the Jackal is always grateful for Stone Cold’s wise counsel, Vixenella’s instruction in the art of billiards is not only beneficial — it’s enjoyable.
Claudia: That’s it, isn’t it? You don’t want me and Spinelli to have any fun. You want us to sit here and be miserable like you. Let me ask you a question. Have you ever enjoyed anything, or were you always like this?
Claudia: I’ve done research on you. I love research. The internet’s opened up a whole new world.
Spinelli: Oh, the jackal’s world, you know, where he is master, dominating the multitudes.
Claudia: I’ve actually picked up a few hacking tricks myself.
Spinelli: I had no idea you were one of my people.
Claudia: That is because you judged me from the outside. You thought that I was a mindless bimbo.
Spinelli: No, no, no, no — just because most cyber-literates are socially inept with low self-esteem and bad hair. But you have great hair, so –
Claudia: I think you’re really cute.
Spinelli: Really? Well, I mean, you know, even on first acquaintance it was very clear to me that you were a real flesh and blood version of the most toughened, agile, cyber-babe.
Jason: Spinelli, please.
Claudia: What? Come on, what is your problem? He’s trying to get to know me here, instead of slapping a label on me the way you did. You have to take the time to know the facts about a person, the way I did with you. That’s why I know a lot more about you than you know about me.
Claudia: You weren’t born Jason Morgan, you were born Jason Quartermaine. You’re actually from a filthy rich family. You had a bad car accident, and now you have brain damage.
Jason: I know what happened. I don’t need to hear you rehash it.
Claudia: A little touchy about the whole brain damage thing.
Jason: Yeah, you know what, maybe I am. Maybe I realize how lucky I am to be walking around when Michael’s going to be laying in a coma for the rest of his life because some piece of garbage tried to kill his father!
Claudia: I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.
Jason: For — for what?
Claudia: I didn’t make the connection.
Jason: Sounded more like guilt to me.
Claudia: My family didn’t have anything to do with Michael’s shooting. How many times do I have to tell you that?
Jason: You know what? If you get delirious, you get this fever, you start spilling your guts, I might just try asking you again.
Claudia: I read in the paper that you killed the guy who shot Michael. That must have given you some small sense of satisfaction, at least.
Spinelli: Ian Devlin was a fiend indeed who was, actually, attacking Maximista when stone cold took the opportunity –
Jason: I can’t, I can’t listen to this.
Spinelli: My humblest apologies, Stone Cold, if my words upset you.
Claudia: You know what? It’s not Spinelli’s fault. Jason, hey, wake up.
Spinelli: Stone Cold?
Claudia: Oh, my god, he’s burning up.
