Who’s Damian?
Jerry: You see, Claudia and I were having differences of opinion and found ourselves at an impasse. So an objective voice was in order — a mediator, if you will. Shall we ask Jason what he thinks of our little dilemma?
Claudia: I doubt Jason cares that you want to rent space in a cannery. And, like I said, I can’t make that happen. Trevor owns that property. Only my father can influence him.
Jason: Sounds to me like you should take your problem to Anthony. You know what? I would — I would dial down the hostility a little bit because people might think that “newly reformed Jerry Jacks” is an act.
Jerry: I’ll — I’ll take it under advisement, Mr. Morgan. We’ll be in touch, darling.
Claudia: Not if I see you first.
Jason: Don’t underestimate him.
Claudia: Thank you. Thank you for the tip and for the rescue. It’s becoming a habit.
Spinelli: Let me go home to my lady my lady, as fair as can be although she’s been absent of late together somewhere we will be
Spinelli: Shiny. Shiny bangle, perhaps lost in haste at the stroke of midnight. Whoever’s fragile wrist this fits shall be my own Cinderella!
Claudia: I guess that’s me.
Spinelli: Vixenella, daughter of darkness, please do not unleash your scary fury. We mean no harm.
Claudia: We?
Spinelli: Yeah, the Jackal and Damian.
Claudia: Okay, I know you call yourself the Jackal for some reason. Who’s Damian?
Spinelli: It’s me as well. We’re both personas, equally socially inept, but neither a thief.
Claudia: I think you’ve had a little too much to drink, right?
Spinelli: I may be somewhat under the influence, but alas, not enough to forget that being a perennial loser is not as bad as momentarily reaching the pinnacle of manhood only to plummet to the hell of geekdom once more.
Spinelli: Oh, white knight Jax finally offered a workable paradigm. You know, the accent, the clothes, the attitude — it finally all started to make sense.
Claudia: Not to me.
Spinelli: Look, it was nothing short of a miracle how — how effective Damian was. He — he was supremely confident, and he could — he knew the right things to say so Spinelli could just relax and stay out of the way and hand it over to Damian, who could — who could hold a drink all night without spilling it or becoming inebriated.
Claudia: Who’s Damian?
Spinelli: I thought I told you. Oh, it is I, the Jackal. At least, it was for one bright, shining moment, but now I am once again me.
Claudia: Okay.
Spinelli: The Jackal. Hapless Spinelli. You know — you know the worst part of this whole thing was that the façade was — the façade crumbled right in front of the one person it was meant for.
Claudia: The only thing I got out of that is that you’re not used to drinking.
Spinelli: Oh, don’t worry. It will pass. The dizziness will pass. I’ll just sit here and wait it out.
Claudia: No, no, no, no, no. Okay, you’re coming home. I’m going to take you — I’m going to take you home, okay?
Spinelli: Okay.
Claudia: All right, just — okay. There you are, there you are. Jump. Oh, God.
[Moaning]
[Throat clearing]
[Spinelli moans]
Claudia: Woo!
